Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
