His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
