He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
