Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
