I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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