I just threw up on my dentist
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
