Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
