I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize