you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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