Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm bleeding and have questions
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
