you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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