No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
