I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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