It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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