I want to make a zoo with you.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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