he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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