totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
