Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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