i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
