They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
40s are totally the cure
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize