Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
