the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I want a musical about memes.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
