I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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