I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I could fuck to npr.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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