Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
