you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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