Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
