He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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