Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
