it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
