I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
