Sponge bath it is.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize