I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Best friends brother. Beat that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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