Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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