i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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