Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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