I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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