i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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