She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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