Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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