Pappa wants mamma naked
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
