Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
