I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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