What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
