Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
