Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
