It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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