you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
