You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
