i can't believe i had my finger in that
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
