Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
