so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
