I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
