end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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