I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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