I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
