apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
