i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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