ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
