the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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