i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
