you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
