the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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