i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
