This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
