I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
