my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
