i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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