i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize