Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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