We're facebook friends in real life
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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