the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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