yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
