I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
