Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
