You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
