My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize