I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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