So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
