I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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