Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
false alarm, still single
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