we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
