I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
