pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
